@robfee: "Give me the best quality TV commercial I can get for $57!"
-Every attorney apparently
@TheWhaleFacts: The difference between cars and whales is that whales can swim and cars can't.
@slimmy_shady: CarefulWhere's your shoesPlease stop cryingMaybe eat somethingYou dropped the bottle- things you say to babies & drunks.
@68Cly29: The part of the Harry Potter movies that I found most unbelievable was that mostly unsupervised teenagers never had wild keg parties.
@xGreenxMonsterx: People that pronounce vase like "voz" make me want to punch them in the foz.
@Stevie___C: If a dentist make their money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?