@robfee: "Give me the best quality TV commercial I can get for $57!"
-Every attorney apparently
@iinkedZombie: All of these people are screaming like they've never seen someone revving a chainsaw on a public beach.
@KateWhineHall: I'm eating a vegan lunch today. Sure, it's six sleeves of Smarties and a Diet Coke, but I'm still better than you.
@CarrieMayhem: I want to lose some weight but I love food & hate exercise. I'm really stuck between a rock & a fat place here.
@OfficeofSteve: Whenever the wife asks what I'm eating. I chew faster like a dog and refuse to open my mouth
@_xLNc: I always have too much month left at the end of my money.