@robfee: "Give me the best quality TV commercial I can get for $57!"
-Every attorney apparently
@RealSamHarwood: I shouted "the blue Subaru with an Obama sticker left its lights on!" at Mt. Bachelor and had the *entire* hill to myself for an hour
@BigMedwards: If you ever get arrested, lighten the mood by pretending to go for his gun.
@GavsonNZ: To the account who followed me while I slept and then unfollowed me before I woke.
My apologies for taking a break. It won't happen again!
@goodballs: If your bf/gf is mad at you put a cape on them and say, "Now you're super mad!" If they laugh marry them.
@Jerrypleasure: [First Date]
Her: I love One Direction
Me: *to impress her* I carry a compass