@RadOrDie: Give the chick a break. Kristen Stewart TOTALLY looks sorry. Or happy. Or sad. Or constipated.
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@MarlonBrandNO: MOM: Story time ME: Yay! MOM: it's called "The Little Engine that Could, but doesn't cuz he's a little shit that won't move out" ME: mom?
@causticbob: Few people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts. His name was Frank
@Book_Krazy: [Boss hands me 12 pages of complaints about my smart-ass remarks] Me: so I guess the whole "we're going paperless" rules dont apply to you?
@BadJordon: Autocorrect just changed 'so thirsty' to 'sloth irate' and I'm slowly getting angry about it.