@MUMSIEesq: Give them a Cheesecake Factory gift card this holiday season so they know you "grocery store checkout line" love them
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@NicCageMatch: My dog is starting a food blog where she writes about the delicious flavors of the various paper napkins she finds and eats.
@iGreenMonk: TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
@EyeSeeYou619: [first date] HIM: So how was your OMG did you just pull a hot sauce packet out of your bra