@UNTRESOR: Give your Mom what she really wants today. Accept her Facebook friend request.
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@jeffporper: Just ordered a pizza and jogged past my gym holding it over my head like the Olympic torch.
@zachreinert03: I was watching tv with my mom & she was amazed a blind guy didn't care his son was missing & I was like outta sight outta mind am I right
@QwertyJones3: [dog park] Go get it, boy! *dog returns with silver watch, silver bracelet & silver necklace* Ugh, you're the worst golden retriever ever