@MikeOdenthal: Given how, when I try to eat a banana, I end up holding the peel while the actual fruit falls to the floor, I'm ok never handling a firearm.
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@LindaInDisguise: I just opened a marketing email from Fitness magazine and my computer died laughing.
@Sassafrantz: The Orthodontist wants to pull my daughter's 2 loose baby teeth & charge me $250. I bought the biggest bag of caramels I could find for $5.
@KalvinMacleod: GENIE: and for your first wish? ME: I wish that the end of every bag of chips was the start of another GENIE: holy shit!
@dafloydsta: Now that Christmas is over, don't forget to be thankful for all the children in China who made your kid's toys.