@Izianikapani: Given my love of animals and hatred of housework, I predict my cause of death will be choking on a fur ball.
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@mrtruthandsoul: Me: ... Dog: ... Me: ... Dog: ... Me: .. Dog: .. Me: ... Dog: .. Me: .. Dog: .. Me: ... Dog: ... (Women, take note *ahem* Man's best friend)
@Meldiesattheend: If watermelon exist why doesn't earthmelon,firemelon and airmelon? The elemelons.
@LoveNLunchmeat: If you tweet about orthopedic shoes enough, you don't even need to write "No DMs" in your bio.
@beerfartchamp: I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting. What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?