@dshack8: Given the number of tampon's wrappers in our trash either my wife is searching for the 1 with a Golden Ticket or shit just got real.
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@HairyJew4Life: Her: Did you hear that eating curry can get rid of bad memories? Me: So I should take you out for Indian AFTER we have sex?
@BoogTweets: Mom: Your son still won't do his laundry. Talk to him Dad: I'm not going in there Mom: Why Dad: Last week I stubbed my toe on 1 of his socks
@InternetHippo: If all millennials suddenly died the next day’s article would be “How millennials are driving up funeral costs”
@I_am_Lukem: I don't understand why people get excited about carbon dating. But then perhaps I just haven't met the right pencil.