@jazmasta: *gives ex wife's next door neighbour a drum kit for Christmas*
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@realHamOnWry: Unless you're planning to lay there shirtless in an open casket, there really is no point to killing yourself with diet and exercise.
@tchrquotes: I always take a different store's tote bags when I go grocery shopping so they don't get the idea we're exclusive or anything.
@autocorrects: Do I turn left when nothing is right? Or do I turn right when there's nothing left?