@fillthevacuum: *gives your eulogy after inhaling helium*
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@TheBeerGuy_: Nothing scarier than unlocking your phone in front of coworkers and not remembering what the last thing on your screen was.
@weinerdog4life: I scream, you scream, my puppet screams, my other puppet screams, the waiter screams, this is the worst first date ever
@SortaBad: You say tomato. I say tomato. Our eyes meet. We've decided on the perfect name for our baby
@TheAlexNevil: “Then we are agreed: we shall have a duel to the death at sunrise. And if I oversleep you will start without me.”