@Brianhopecomedy: Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@karlainvt: It's so cute how my kids think I'm going to go look for them after I finish counting to ten.
@RandomlyMJ: Is there such a thing as spontaneous feline combustion? Anyway, baking soda and vinegar are terrible for cats.
@funnyoneliners: I want my children to be independent headstrong people. Just not while I'm raising them.
@ShutUpThatsWho: Freddie Mercury: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me Chorus of Dads: HI JUST A POOR BOY, I'M DAD! SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY