@QwertyJones3: Giving people the finger while driving just isn't effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.
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@AmberTozer: Friend: Look on the bright side Me: [walks away] Friend: Where are you going Me: To talk to someone who doesn't say shit like that
@runawaycupcake: "We're not buying another toy until Mommy gets laid!" might not be the most appropriate thing to yell in ToysRUs.
@KentTheG: I dated a meteorologist once just so I could be with a woman who wasn't right all the time.