@TheCatWhisprer: Giving somebody a greeting card is the most festive way to deposit $5 into their trashcan.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iwearaonesie: wife: WHO LOADED THE DISHWASHER? [cut to me sitting at a bus station waiting to start my new life]
@JermHimselfish: In spite of what you might have heard, some pretty magical things happen behind dirty dumpsters in shady alleys.
@sammyrhodes: My 3yr old pooped her big girl panties at church today and I forgot the wipes, in case you were feeling bad about being single today.