@TheCatWhisprer: Giving somebody a greeting card is the most festive way to deposit $5 into their trashcan.
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@Spaced_Cowboy00: If you're not sure how to spell a word, there are thousands of English professors on Twitter who will correct you.
@oxygenplug: *you see a bear approaching you* Quick play dead! *bears comes running up* Oh god! OH GOD! What's happening!? Wake up! WHO DID THIS TO YOU!?
@oakhillbargrill: Spreads legs... Nope Spreads two other legs .... Nope Spreads two others .... Dammit, no Spreads last two.... BINGO!! - spider sex