@PaperWash: Giving someone a Dunkin Donuts gift certificate for their birthday is the perfect way to say "I love you" and "I hate you" at the same time
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@ClaytonSykes: Judge: Your client says he's mentally fit to stand trial correct?Lawyer: Yes, your honor.Judge: Then can you tell him to get out of my seat?
@SteveSuckington: I once walked in on my brother having sex with my girlfriend. Needless to say I deflated her and threw her in the trash. #awkwardbreakup
@aneesa_p: Contrary to popular belief, when I call tech support, I don't know what the Indian dude is saying either.