@hazelmotes1: Giving your kid a recorder and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly.
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@dafloydsta: Fun game: if someone wants to shake your hand, sniff your fingers first and then see if they still want to.
@JaySuch: When I see someone texting and driving I swerve my car into them and try to run them off the road cause texting and driving is illegal.
@Underchilde: I never keep toilet paper in the guest bathroom. They don’t need that kind of incentive to visit again.