@WilliamAder: Glad I'm not a general, because auto-correct just changed "lunch order" to "launch order."
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@UberFacts: A mentally ill man shot himself in the head as a suicide attempt. The bullet cured his disorder and he became a straight-A college student.
@JermHimselfish: I only star inspirational tweets from 15 year-old white girls, because they've obviously got the deepest insight into the human experience.
@Tacet_no_more: When my wife says "I don't want to talk about it" that's woman code for you better put your life on hold for 2 hours & find out what "It" is