@WilliamAder: Glad I'm not a general, because auto-correct just changed "lunch order" to "launch order."
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@underchilde: If you buy a Mustang and don’t rev the engine at every red light, the bank will repossess it.
@_The_Man__: Wife: The zoo called Me: [wearing hat made out of live lemurs] they say what they want?
@13spencer: Ted Cruz is complaining about "liberal fascism," so I guess he's just stringing random unrelated words together, like "potato doorknob."