@junejuly12: *gleefully prepares egg salad sandwiches for milestone birthday party of office nemesis*
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@Vice_Queen: Roughly 60% of my childhood was spent trying to do the crane kick after watching Karate Kid.
@T_N_Crumpets: [Supermarket] Me: QUICK, WHERE IS YOUR FROZEN SECTION Assistant: Aisle 7 Me: GREAT [opens trench coat and 6 penguins fall out] let's go guys
@SamGrittner: The government has officially replaced all measurements of time with fruit. More news at banana.