@junejuly12: *gleefully prepares egg salad sandwiches for milestone birthday party of office nemesis*
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@YayForAnxiety: Me: "Hello? Yeah hi I'm calling about your commercial where the woman looks really happy cleaning the kitchen, what's her number?"
@TheAlexNevil: "Oh sure. Go down bout a mile, left at the store that's not there anymore, & past the big tree. Can't miss it." -every gas station attendant
@AaronFullerton: I think it's unfair that when a human eats uncooked fish it's "sushi," but when a fish eats uncooked human, it's "a shark attack."