@pleatedjeans: Global warming is real the number of hot singles in my area has been increasing since 2007 that cannot be a coincidence
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@JCWisdomNuggets: "Paper or pl.." ..astic! OMG we finish each other's sentences! You complete mmmm... "I'm not saying 'me'" ME! OMG we did it again! "..."
@spacexsam: Forever tricking animals into thinking I'm patting them when really I'm just wiping crumbs off of my hands into their fur
@Ellierocks2013: Door says push.. I pull.. If it says pull I push.. I'm ether a hardcore Rebel or I need glasses...
@DanMentos: Fun Prank: put a live turtle and a tiny pair of nunchucks in your toilet before your guests arrive