@birbigs: Gluten free pizza is like a roller coaster that just goes straight.
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@Boba_Photo: $1,000/hour for an escort? No thanks. I've been crossing the street by myself for free since I was 6.
@Coepacetic: At the disco last night. They played twist. I did the twist. They played jump. I jumped. They played come on Eileen. I got kicked out.
@patnelke: My kids have voted, and the results are in. It's official, I've been elected the President of Empty Threats.
@LoveNLunchmeat: 80% of being Donald Trump is just worrying that the wind will blow your weird combover in the wrong direction.