@LnL245: Go ahead, criticize my overprotective parenting but no gorillas were shot on my watch.
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@TimmyPumpkin: dorothy: WET TSHIRT CONTEST! wicked witch: NOOOOOOOOO! tin man: worst spring break ever.
@ArfMeasures: WIFE [in labour] GOD MAKE IT STOP MIDWIFE: The baby's WIFE: NO, THE NOISE ME [stops playing pan pipes] Is the nurse being too loud, love?
@Stryfe74: Forgetting what you went into the kitchen to get is one thing but, it's darn scary when you can't remember why you went into the bathroom!
@nathanfielder: Experiment: text your parents "got 2 grams for $40" then right after "Sorry ignore that txt. Not for you" Then tweet pic of their response.