@markleggett: Go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. He'd be so freaked out that a baby is trying to murder him, you'll have the element of surprise.
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@david8hughes: Me: ugh. The radio these days is full of bad news. Burglary over there, stabbing over here. Just turn it off please Arresting officer: no
@danjan13: Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets. Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets.
@djdarrellripley: Cop: Could I have your name? Me: Well, you could, but it would be an incredible coincidence. *Send Bail Money*
@jordan_stratton: I don't want to be cremated when I die. I want my body thrown on a group of unsuspecting, cocky teens in a haunted house.