@markleggett: Go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. He'd be so freaked out that a baby is trying to murder him, you'll have the element of surprise.
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@DebasaurusRex: I won't be gratified sexually until someone dumps one of those big Gatorade containers on me after.
@scottthetwat: Homes are 750 square feet larger today than they were 30 years ago. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.
@HavocMantis: *at bank* I always think it's funny when I go to the bank because my last name is Banks Teller: "haha. First name?" *Pulls out gun* Robin