@trevso_electric: Go buy a burrito, leave it in your fridge, get drunk, come home and be your own best secret admirer.
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@mamamia6212: My 2 yo is currently having the biggest tantrum I've ever seen! He's mad I will not let him open & eat the box of candy* he found. *tampons
@QuietPsycho: HR: know why you're here? Me: I put my tongue in the candy cutter Union: well..unsafe..but fired? HR: the candy cutter's name is Trish
@envydatropic: Indoor water parks full of kids in diapers for when you want to catch a case of name that bacterial infection
@HelmdawgE: Just got unfollowed by exorcist scary looking lady with crazy eyes who has "will get in cars with strangers" in her bio. I'm hiding........