@JasonLastname: Go into a bathroom stall and write: "For A Good Time Call Your Mother. She Misses You & Enjoys Hearing Your Voice."
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@Breadery: *Approaches girl at bar* Brain: Say you like her eyes. No, hair. Actually, go for eyes! Me: You have lovely hairy eyes Brain: My bad.
@ItsMePonyBoy: Hey dude that invented the unicycle... Where were you wanting to go ? then not go, then go, then not go, then get bored and juggle
@juliussharpe: If Apple has taught me anything, it's wait to see the "Steve Jobs" movie until they release a second version.
@Tmoney68: Made a special running playlist that's nothing but zombie moans & shuffling feet. I've lost 20 pounds & can run a 4:30 minute mile.