@Home_Halfway: Go to a fancy restaurant. Order the lobster. Order it alive. When it comes, order food for your new pet lobster. Then take lobster home.
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@manwhohasitall: Wife online? Kids asleep? Time to relax & unwind with a damp cloth and a bottle of multi-surface cleaner. 'Me time'.
@sarcasticmommy4: One of the greatest gifts my kids have given me is my high tolerance for alcohol.
@PlatinumShower: I just used "volumizing" shampoo for the first time.... Everything sounds the same.
@robfee: I wish boxing was like wrestling so when the ref was distracted Manny Pacquiao would run in & hit Floyd Mayweather with a Stone Cold Stunner