@lucidchemistry: Go to an open house and ask the realtor if they'll stand in the basement with the door closed so you can hear if screams are audible outside
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@bholejuice: When my wife picks a restaraunt that I don't like, I just say "oh yeah, that's where that really cute girl works". Problem solved.
@Diversion50: [supermarket] *Unpacks 60 items of groceries onto checkout area* CHECKOUT GIRL: I have a boyfriend. ME: Oh, OK. *slowly repacks trolley*
@ButtercupHush: "No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.