@living_marble: "Go to hell" is so abstract. "Get trapped in a porta potty for 67 months." Now that's specific. That's possible. That's terrifying.
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@Quartzjixler: I hope the mysterious food thief at the office enjoys the dog food marinara and Jello with my toenail clippings I made for him/her.
@funnyoneliners: I want my children to be independent headstrong people. Just not while I'm raising them.