@JohnLyonTweets: Maybe installing Freudian Autocorrect was not the breast idea.

@thatguyJA: My minivan has this cool anti-theft system called its a minivan

@EndhooS: "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Show him Edna.. [mum stops slicing carrots] *starts violently gagging until a baby slides out her mouth*

@Rich_McCarthy: Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.

@Shock_Monster: According to my Ex, we only had 2 problems: 1. Me. 2. Not her.