@ilikeyouguys: Go to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me w that needle, I run off yelling 'thanks for the free shave loser!'
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@DurtMcHurtt: [dinner at brother's house] "So where are the kids?" Brother: I grounded them. *spits out meatloaf*
@TheWeirdWorld: With a dog, you have a glimpse into parenting. With a cat, you have a glimpse into marriage.