@mdob11: Goal weight: "are you ok, you look sick"
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@sad_tree: *I throw my hat into the ring* Oh you wanna fight do ya? *I throw my pants into the ring* Pal this is gettin' weird *I throw my skin into th
@MooseAllain: If you are single, book a table for two this Valentine’s. Keep checking your watch. Order your meal for one, tearfully. Result: Free drinks!
@Sean_Burgundy_: Most women love it when you play with their hair in public Their husbands not so much
@chopper4jk: Text: How come you stopped drinking? Me: Because I kept waking up with you. Her: I hate you.