@mdob11: Goal weight: "are you ok, you look sick"
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@WheelTod: "Children can be very cruel," I reassure my 6 year-old. "But sometimes it seems like you aren't even trying."
@sammyj_04: What's it called when it's 9:20am and you can't wait for dinner? Oh, it's called fat. Nevermind.
@Elizasoul80: Trump, 2 years into his presidency: "What do you mean we can't just file for bankruptcy?"
@AndyAsAdjective: [my 1st day at press conference sign language translator job I lied on my résumé to get] ME: *does Madonna's Vogue choreography for 45 min*