@YourPrincess_L: God all I want is a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't change me.
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@ShotOfBull: I found a message in a bottle. It said: "The girl at the end of the bar is a lot hotter than she was 2 hours ago."
@RaynaTheGreat: All of your inspirational tweets make me want to track you down and pee on something you love.
@blondecalamity: My ex used to sing "Brown Eyed Girl" to me.... I have blue eyes. This should have been a sign.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: It's not fair how many boring things my nephew gets out of going to simply by shitting his pants.