@Cpin42: [God, creating pigeons]
Make them pace back and forth like a lawyer.
@13spencer: "Follow your dreams!" - someone born into money
@MouthOfSass: Life tip: If you're curious if you've gotten fat, have a kid draw your picture.
@Juven_Naidoo: A policeman walks into a bar. The bar is now being charged for assaulting a police officer.
@pakalupapito: i need a reasonably paying job. something like $6,000 an hour, nothing too wild.
@1Happytwit: They are only bad decisions if you get caught