@Cpin42: [God, creating pigeons]
Make them pace back and forth like a lawyer.
@bIessbaby: over 7 billion people in this world and u think I'm gonna chase someone who doesn't even want me? hahaha
that's exactly what I'm gonna do
@VVanGone: I'm around a bunch of people right now remembering why I don't like being around a bunch of people
@gobmentcheese: Interviewer: So, tell me a little about yourself.
Me: I'm very attracted to you right now.
@djdarrellripley: Me: What happened to all the bourbon?
Her: Oh, I put it in the chicken.
Me: Then pour me a glass of chicken.
@Ginlicker: You'd give your life for me? Your life sucks what else you got?