@maratesk: God gave you alcohol, sex and music. Why do you all talk about politics?!
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@markleggett: People who say that they don't have time for my bullshit need to learn how to manage their time better. Wake up an hour earlier.
@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: I'm such a nerd! I love when a guy talks sciency HIM: Oh haha [to waiter] A salad with umm *sweating* kilo-island dressing
@LackOfShame: Mom: "Why are you always on your phone? What's so great about the internet?" Me: It doesn't constantly ask me questions
@fro_vo: Waiter: how were your steak and eggs Me: just okay Waiter: oh no Me: you could say they were Waiter: please no Me: *sips mimosa* meaty yoker