@MrsMikePatton: God, grant me serenity to accept that people are ignorant, courage to uphold the law when I'm hostile & wisdom to realize murder is illegal.
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@joshwillhall: My boyfriend: *leaves the room* The fbi agent in my webcam: No I totally see what you mean. Me: right? He's weird today. How's your husband? FBI agent: he wants us to open our marriage Me: that's rough janet.
@NotGaryBusey: I love when people say "If people hate you, it only means you're doing something right." Because that's what Hitler would say.
@ScottLinnen: Always keep an axe by the front door so I can give the other Jehovah something awesome to witness.