@tehviking: God grant me the dgaf to lol at the things I can’t even, the swag to yolo the things I can, and the lifehacks to know the difference
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@Scott_A_Gilmore: What manner of evil contract with the devil must I enter into so I can get eye drops INTO my eyes?
@iRowlf: "Yo, somebody filled this calzone with a checkbook and sunglasses!" -Vin Diesel eating a purse
@Taryn_: Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're a dumb ass and you make poor decisions.
@patcasey72: Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.