@tehviking: God grant me the dgaf to lol at the things I can’t even, the swag to yolo the things I can, and the lifehacks to know the difference
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@simoncholland: 1st week of school: sandwich cut in a cute shape, sliced fruit, encouraging note. Last week of school: handful of croutons wrapped in foil.
@WheelTod: This may be not be a mainstream opinion, but I don't believe you should cut down a Christmas tree unless you intend on eating it.
@notalogin: Actually, Kara, love is an illusion created by chemical reactions. The most powerful force in the world is the invisible hand of the market.
@Thynebear: [puts baby in highchair] Ohhh HIGH chair, I get it. That explains why all you do is eat, sleep & drool you stupid little stoner.