@WornOutMommy: God grant me the patience to accept the people whose outfits I cannot change.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MartaEffing: When I'm with you, I'm breathless. My pulse quickens and I can feel my entire body getting hot. Also, you're a treadmill and I'm asthmatic.
@JesKeepSwimming: Sorry I can't make it to lunch today. I forgot to shorten "people" to ppl in a text this morning and now I'm totally behind schedule.
@bobvulfov: *couple's marriage begins to fall apart* *marriage counselor blows on them like an N64 cartridge* Okay how about now
@shutupmikeginn: The Whole Foods next to this movie theater is perfect if you want to sneak in your own snacks, but don't want to save a lot of money.