@shariv67: God grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I will not read.
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@therealeatwood: I love kickboxing and think there should be kick versions of more sports, like kickbowling and kickbadminton
@Sassafrantz: Pretended to add my number into this obnoxious guy's phone. All I did was edit his mom's contact. Hope she likes dick pics and booty calls.
@ShortSleeveSuit: Basic white girl [laughing]: Yasssss omg I'm dying! Takes Everything Literally Todd [shocks her with a defibrillator]: NOT ON MY WATCH!
@DaddyJew: Daddy, how'd you get that scar? *flashback to me tripping & falling while running from the police after a night of drunken debauchery* War