@PorkUrPine: God: Hmm now where did I leave that fish? It couldn't possibly have grown legs and walked away
Darwin: lol ur not gonna believe this
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@TZSqueezy: Me: I want a... Debit card: Nope. Me: Ok. Just making sure.
@KeetPotato: wife: "remember when i said you were too friendly all the time?" me: [making cup of tea] "no im not" burglar: "two sugars please"
@AndrewNadeau0: ME: There are 18 sheep. RANCHER: Round ‘em up! ME: There are 20 sheep.
@BuckyIsotope: And now we wait
@TragicAllyHere: Me: Alexa, when will computers become self-aware? Alexa: When will YOU become self-aware? M: *gazing out a window, crying* good one, Alexa
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