@ryaninco: God: I will create a being to cook, clean, serve and obey. Adam: what will it cost me? God: an arm and a leg. Adam: what can I get for a rib
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@TySmithdrums: Thousands of religions and you're damned if you choose incorrectly? There must be people in Hell asking,"So! What religion are you in for?"
@joshy_beck: There was a cricket on my toilet seat so I just backed out awkwardly. Lock the door next time, bro.
@SufficientCharm: 6am: Too tired 8am: This isn't so bad 1pm: OMG so tired 5pm: zombie 8pm: Dead 10pm: LETS SWIM THE ENGLISH CHANNEL & OVERTHINK FOR HOURS