@TheTweetOfGod: "God is good all the time!" Yeah. Not you though, Russ. You sucked for 55 frigging minutes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DiabeetusNurse: This chic on Facebook said she ran 17 miles yesterday. Where I live the police would have gave up after like, IDK, 6 miles maybe.
@david8hughes: [wife crosses out another baby name off the list] What? What's wrong with Carlos Danger Grenades?
@GoldenSpirals: No matter how prepared you think you are, a retractable vacuum cord will always find the weakness in your defense.