@TheTweetOfGod: "God is good all the time!" Yeah. Not you though, Russ. You sucked for 55 frigging minutes.
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@timdonakowski: *stops next to punks at red light* *stares them down, turns up The Walking Dead opening music* *light turns green, slowly accelerates*
@DannyZuker: Daughter is acting so rude I'm not sure she's even mine. Think my wife may have cheated on me with YouTube's comments section.
@KateWhineHall: Yesterday I watched a clip about a 71-year-old female body builder. Today I used my pants as a napkin because the couch was too far from the kitchen.