@shariv67: God is like Justin Bieber. I have nothing against him personally, but his fan club is super annoying.
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@QwertyJones3: [first date] HER: Do you have any hobbies? ME: Yes! Wait, did you say "hobbits"? HER: No, hobbies ME: Oh, then no
@shutupmikeginn: While you guys were wasting your time talking about politics I got banned from the Yahoo Answers 'Horse' section
@j0hnonline: Hi we're a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can't ever find our dog.
@Epygma: "Do you want to go out on a date?" *sweats nervously* I C-CAN'T "Why?" *shoots friend next to him* I HAVE TO GO TO A FRIEND'S FUNERAL