@shariv67: God is like Justin Bieber. I have nothing against him personally, but his fan club is super annoying.
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@Playing_Dad: [Ice Cream Truck] John Cena: I'll take an Icee, please. Ice Cream Truck Driver: Icee? You? Cena: *grabs driver's shirt* No, you can't.
@StansaidAirport: I live in constant fear that someone will abduct my mother in law at 35 Ash Street, London, Flat 2, door is sticky buzz Carol to let you in.
@Discourt: For a tiny person unable to wipe herself after she poops, my toddler has managed to hit me dead in the eyeball with 4 things today.