@shariv67: God is like Justin Bieber. I have nothing against him personally, but his fan club is super annoying.
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: Someone broke into the business next door last night. Coworker: Wasn't the building alarmed? Me: Buildings don't get scared. CW.....
@AndrewNadeau0: VILLAIN: *Stroking cat* I've been expec- BOND: OMG your kitty is so cute! Can I pet him?! V:*Whining* Tiiim, you said this was intimidating!
@PaperWash: Find everything OK, sir? Everything except happiness! You won't find that at Wal-Mart! We laughed & laughed until my credit card declined