@LOLGOP: God must be a Republican. He wasn't that into humans until He found His Son was one.
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@ericarhodes: "What's it like being a female comic?" "Well, you get asked what it's like being a female comic a lot."
@dorsalstream: Your 20s: I will strive for goodness and peace in this troubled world. Your 40s: Every single chair is terrible.
@notacroc: Wife: y is a penguin w an umbrella in the- Me:*points to dog dressed as batman* so Bark Wayne isnt bored W: M: he needs an arch enemy, Karen