@notalogin: God never gives you more than you can handle. But I'm not God. I'm just a bag boy. And you'll wanna take these groceries out in the cart.
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@Bearslietoo: Playing hard to get works with some men but apparently cops call it "resisting arrest."
@Free_the_DJ: When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.
@DayneDimmick: I feel bad for spiders. I tripon my two feet all the time. Can only imagine the hell a clumsy spider goes through.
@elizabeth_fels: PUTIN: If your American lover is in this room I'll kill him ELENA: He's not! PUTIN: (softly) u...s... [bursting from closet] A! USA! USA!