@Andrea__B__: God promised men that good obedient wives would be found in all 4 corners of the world, then he made the world round. What a funny guy
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@Iwriteforcats: [Google Search History] 1. Do raccoons like to cuddle? 2. What does rabies smell like? 3. I can't feel my face.
@krisv_723: Birds do it & no one bats an eye. One time I shit on a windshield & suddenly it's arrests & psych evaluations.
@topaz_kell: I'm in a constant battle between wanting a hot body and wanting a hot fudge sundae.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "I mean if you do the math the most weight I can really gain from the pound of pumpkin pie I ate tonight is only one pound" I thought fatly.