@iamspacegirl: God *twisting an owl*: I can't get this damn jar open.
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@djdarrellripley: Call me old fashioned, but I never cry in front of another man unless it's to get out of a speeding ticket...
@OfficialMizGin: I wish I were a Jedi. I don’t want to use the Force or anything. I just want to hang out in my bathrobe all day.
@ariscott: Social media: We're getting rid of chronological order. Everyone: NO! SM: Cool, right?! Everyone: NO! SM: Glad you're excited!
@timdonakowski: Damn girl, are you an old ATM touchscreen? 'Cause I'm pushing ALL the wrong buttons.