@iamspacegirl: God *twisting an owl*: I can't get this damn jar open.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheUnseenMe: You know that warm feeling you get when you look at your spouse? It's called acid reflux.
@priya_ebooks: currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out
@KKBowls: "I know what you look like naked" - me to my girlfriends identical twin sister, every single time I see her.
@TheDjinnTrials: I will be with you always and forever, even during the rough times, until the day we die. -Herpes