@iamspacegirl: God *twisting an owl*: I can't get this damn jar open.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: When people say let's stop fighting and act like a family, that's where I get confused.
@Bad_Ass_Trucker: Me: Did you hear that? Her: Go check it out Me: Are You Crazy? They always kill the good looking people first Her: You'll be alright
@SteveSuckington: I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.
@JamesBarretts: Immediately after giving birth to me my mom was charged with crimes against humanity