@mantej: God was truly looking out for me today — I opened a bag of air and found a few Lay’s potato chips inside.
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@KevinBuffalo: Exercising can add years to your life. For example I jogged 4 miles today and now I feel like I'm 73.
@iwearaonesie: wife: WHO LOADED THE DISHWASHER? [cut to me sitting at a bus station waiting to start my new life]
@ceejoyner: Sir, the breadsticks are limitless, not unlimited. You only get one but its potential as a breadstick knows no bounds.