@LuvPug: God's son died single, but he'll help you find your match on Christian Mingle.
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@jensenmarie_: GUIDE TO BEING BATMAN: 1. Lose parents, inherit everything 2. Let people get murdered 3. Never murder the Joker cause he's the best at puns
@GaryJanetti: When I was in my twenties we didn't have hipsters we had AIDS, which was almost as bad.
@DiscoFruit: [3rd grade] bae: come over me: no bae: my parents aren't home. me: but we're only 7, that's awful parenting. bae: but- me: AWFUL. PARENTING.