@JustinGuarini: Gods work.
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@nonsensetwit: My fear of spiders happened when I went to hit one with a newspaper, and it looked at me and did pushups saying "try again bro."
@saucy_peaches: Had a talk with 12. M: Do you know what a period is? 12: Yes, mom, it's the dot at the end of the sentence. M: ... 12: ... M: Good talk
@kjmeow: "FOR SALE: blender, like new. Does NOT make things taste like crayons ALSO FOR SALE: wax fruit, slightly scratched."