@JustinGuarini: Gods work.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ParentNormal: VOICEMAIL: I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, my toddler typed the wrong password 200 times so I can't try again until next year
@simoncholland: I was going to sign this permission slip to let my daughter watch The Grinch at school but I haven't heard back from North Korea yet.
@foxnerdrn: If he doesn't sleep with a life-sized replica of you made of human hair and deli meats, he's not as into you as I am.
@highxpectation2: No one realizes when someone says, "The last thing I wanna do is hurt you," that basically implies: there is a list, hurting you is on it.