@Eenfidel: Godzilla on his smartphone, googling 'How many carbs does Tokyo have'
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@ShortSleeveSuit: "There, there," I say, resting her head on my shoulder Surgeon: Sir, we're going to need that back if we want any hope for reattachment!
@thepunningman: Interviewer: Under skills you put horse whisperer and able to see ghosts Me: Ask that horse if you don't believe me Interviewer: What horse?
@rocket_roy: [Lizard Enterprises HQ] Lizard Boss: Um excuse me, do you work here? Snake balancing on 4 toothpicks (nervously): Uh yessir why do you ask?