@Eenfidel: Godzilla on his smartphone, googling 'How many carbs does Tokyo have'
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@EndhooS: Boss "Are you high?" Me "If I was high could I do this?" *Inserts a USB into it's port the right way up 1st time"
@EJGomez: sucks to be a bad guy in the teenage mutant ninja turtle world like "who stopped u" "turtles" "huh" "no they were like faster than normal"
@KalvinMacleod: [me, in a sting operation] Can I buy your best stuff? DRUG DEALER: what do u mean by stuff? *talking into my shirt* what do I mean by stuff?