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@Tmoney68: Godzilla vs. A Floor Scattered With Legos
@badAzz_mom: You're not allowed to say "long story short" after talking for 30 minutes.
@bistromath2013: I now have 8 apps to communicate with the same people.
@Amburglar_: When asked by the creepy guy at the bar "Why aren't you smiling?" my go-to answer is always "My yeast infection really is bubbling up."
@heidiknits: Just had a 9 minute argument with The Boy over why he needs to change his underwear this morning.
Don't forget your birth control, friends.
@RandomlyMJ: Thanks to Twitter I will never again ask a man "What are you thinking?" Because now I know and I am horrified.