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@GrantTanaka: *goes 100mph in Prius
*gets pulled over by police
@RealCarrotFacts: the average goat is 9 carrots tall if you measure goats in carrots
@juliussharpe: Management tip - only hire bald guys. They don't have anything going on besides work.
@Jandalize: Horrifically awaiting the day all the shampoo bottles in my shower decide to squeeze me back.
@WickedRapunzel: Customer: Can someone else serve us?
C:I don't want my children exposed to the sin of your tattoos.
M: Satan wants their tiny souls.
@heatherjs: If you walk around in knight's armor long enough, people will just get used to it.