@Underchilde: *Goes into fabric store looking for girlfriend material*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JhonRules: When girls ask if I'm good in bed, I tell them "Of course, how hard is it to close your eyes and literally do nothing for 8 hours".
@ibid78: Say no to drugs. Say yes to the dress. Say anything to John Cusack. Say you say me to Lionel Richie. Say say say to Paul McCartney.
@pstamato: Asked exterminator if he chose the bug life or the bug life chose him. In the ensuing silence I assume he imagined me dying by fumigation.
@WheelTod: Cinderella is the creepiest fairytale when you wonder what crazy foot deformity she has that her shoes won't fit anyone else in the kingdom.