@BillMc7: *goes on Facebook AGAIN*
*reads 100,000th idiotic post*
*thinks other people are stupid*
@Amburglar_: Facebook friend: If you can't handle me at my worst, then you-
SHUT UP, SHANNON. YOU'RE *ALWAYS* AT YOUR WORST.
@WilliamAder: To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
@eddiesteadyno: I wasn't dropped as a baby, but I've been making up for it ever since.
@70Ceeks: hungover at 22: dag gonna be 9 minutes late for work
at 39: ...finally, to my faithful cat elroy i leave my cache of nagano '98 olympic pins
@TheToddWilliams: [job interview]
Me: Time travel
Boss: What is your biggest stren—WHAT?!