@BillMc7: *goes on Facebook AGAIN*
*reads 100,000th idiotic post*
*thinks other people are stupid*
@El_nacho_Nigre: "Gotta wake up early"
*sets alarm for 5am*
*wakes up at 4:55am to cancel alarm*
*goes back to sleep*
@RoosterMustache: HER: I love sweater weather
ME: *holding up an umbrella to protect us from falling sweaters* It's that time of year again already?!
@Ideal_Victoria: I replace all the family pictures my coworkers have on their desks with pictures of baby sloths and suddenly I need professional help?!?
@BurhanHafeez1: Change is always hard....
Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
@just1fool: My dog wouldn't shut up so I told him I killed the mailman. He was jealous but proud of me.